Athletes Find a Way
That's my new motto thanks to my boss. Basically, it's just another way of saying, "don't give me any f-ing excuses and get the job done." I like it and I believe I can apply this clever saying in other areas of my life as well.
Athletes find a way to:
1. Fight off the embarrassment and take that crap in the work lavatory that has been fermenting in your ass for the last 4 hours.
2. Have the courage and come out of the bathroom after you just took the greasiest shit that smells like rotten feet and eggs mixed together.
3. Hold your head high when you notice a coworker waiting to use the only women's bathroom on the floor. And don't beat yourself up for not flushing the toilet twice...she'll probably think you dropped some chocolate in the water.
4. Vomit in a styrofoam cup (and not miss) while their husbands are driving and there's no where to pull over.
5. Have sex at least three times a week.
6. To get home, even if you are stranded, drunk and naked.
7. Hold in explosive diarrhea while jogging until a squatting place can be found. Then, and only then, can you shit battery acid, wipe your ass with stray leaves and continue your run (while you can still feel liquid residue squish between your cheeks).
8. Get wasted, puke, not get any on you, and walk back into the bar like nothing happened.
9. Emit a rancid odor out of your ass and successfully blame it on someone else.
10. Not eat every single piece of Halloween candy in the office, which was actually meant for the customers.
If the above does not describe what an athlete stands for, I don't know what will. Talk about facing adversity and being able to come out on top, standing up to your worst fears and conquering them, and generally becoming the person others aspire to be.
I think I will forward this on to my boss and ask his professional opinion. I'm serious.
Athletes find a way to:
1. Fight off the embarrassment and take that crap in the work lavatory that has been fermenting in your ass for the last 4 hours.
2. Have the courage and come out of the bathroom after you just took the greasiest shit that smells like rotten feet and eggs mixed together.
3. Hold your head high when you notice a coworker waiting to use the only women's bathroom on the floor. And don't beat yourself up for not flushing the toilet twice...she'll probably think you dropped some chocolate in the water.
4. Vomit in a styrofoam cup (and not miss) while their husbands are driving and there's no where to pull over.
5. Have sex at least three times a week.
6. To get home, even if you are stranded, drunk and naked.
7. Hold in explosive diarrhea while jogging until a squatting place can be found. Then, and only then, can you shit battery acid, wipe your ass with stray leaves and continue your run (while you can still feel liquid residue squish between your cheeks).
8. Get wasted, puke, not get any on you, and walk back into the bar like nothing happened.
9. Emit a rancid odor out of your ass and successfully blame it on someone else.
10. Not eat every single piece of Halloween candy in the office, which was actually meant for the customers.
If the above does not describe what an athlete stands for, I don't know what will. Talk about facing adversity and being able to come out on top, standing up to your worst fears and conquering them, and generally becoming the person others aspire to be.
I think I will forward this on to my boss and ask his professional opinion. I'm serious.
posted by Martha | 10:09 AM
1 Comments:
Ok, here is how you post pictures
1) when you are typing your post, there is a button on the top that looks like a picture of the mountains. Click it, and you can insert your picture
2) Download Picassa from Google. It sorts all of your photos for you, and then you just pick one, and send it to you r blog through the program Hello (which I think comes with it).
3) Go to blogger.com and look under the FAQs for more detailed instructions.
I don't want to move again!!!!
Kim
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