Kids or no kids?
Recently, I've been contemplating the prospect of having children, which is not necessarily a good thing. I'm 25 and my biological clock has started.
At first, my clock was saying, "Hmmm... kids are kind of cute, but you do have to wipe their shitty ass."
Then, it was like, "Ahhh!! Will that freakin' kid every stop screaming!?! I'm gonna...wait, look how cute she is! Oh, the scream is like the sound of angels."
Now, that damn clock is telling me, "Kids are the coolest. Don't you want to be a mommy?"
Basically, I'm doomed. I've definitely caught the baby bug. I sometimes get chills at the idea of me being a "Mom." The whole responsibility of being one of the two most influential people in a child's life is overwhelming. On the other hand, it's kind of exciting! I know that my in-laws and my own family would be hysterical at the notion of my husband and I starting our own brood. And I mean "hysterical" in a good way, seriously I promise.
Then there's the other side of having kids. You know, the whole give up your own life to raise your children to be productive members of society. I'm looking forward to the stretch marks and really can't wait for the throw up in my hair and shit all over the room. And I don't believe that whole, if it's your own kids throw up or shit, it's really not that bad. Are you kidding me?!
My husband and I went to NYC for our 2nd wedding anniversary. There happened to be a heat wave while we were there. Walking around in 100 degree weather with 110% humidity is like being in a sauna, except there's no exit. Anyway, we were strolling down Manhattan and we see this kid in a stroller. The mom is near by and there are other small children around. The kid in the stroller starts coughing and coughing. Then, he threw up red stuff all over himself. The mom was like, "Oh" and shrugged her shoulders.
Gross. So maybe I've persuaded my biological clock to shut up (at least for a little while).
At first, my clock was saying, "Hmmm... kids are kind of cute, but you do have to wipe their shitty ass."
Then, it was like, "Ahhh!! Will that freakin' kid every stop screaming!?! I'm gonna...wait, look how cute she is! Oh, the scream is like the sound of angels."
Now, that damn clock is telling me, "Kids are the coolest. Don't you want to be a mommy?"
Basically, I'm doomed. I've definitely caught the baby bug. I sometimes get chills at the idea of me being a "Mom." The whole responsibility of being one of the two most influential people in a child's life is overwhelming. On the other hand, it's kind of exciting! I know that my in-laws and my own family would be hysterical at the notion of my husband and I starting our own brood. And I mean "hysterical" in a good way, seriously I promise.
Then there's the other side of having kids. You know, the whole give up your own life to raise your children to be productive members of society. I'm looking forward to the stretch marks and really can't wait for the throw up in my hair and shit all over the room. And I don't believe that whole, if it's your own kids throw up or shit, it's really not that bad. Are you kidding me?!
My husband and I went to NYC for our 2nd wedding anniversary. There happened to be a heat wave while we were there. Walking around in 100 degree weather with 110% humidity is like being in a sauna, except there's no exit. Anyway, we were strolling down Manhattan and we see this kid in a stroller. The mom is near by and there are other small children around. The kid in the stroller starts coughing and coughing. Then, he threw up red stuff all over himself. The mom was like, "Oh" and shrugged her shoulders.
Gross. So maybe I've persuaded my biological clock to shut up (at least for a little while).
posted by Martha | 9:01 AM
1 Comments:
Dude, mine started ticking as well...and my body won't allow it to happen. 90 day cycles just aren't great for getting pregnant I guess, so now I have an appointment with the specialist next month. Sweet. After 3 years of marriage, I'm ready, and I have issues. Other people walk by men and get pregnant. What's up with that?
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